


Loving Luna: An Epilepsy

by MayorHaggar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chest Monster Mockery, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Helpful Slughorn, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-09 00:09:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8868457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayorHaggar/pseuds/MayorHaggar
Summary: Harry has been dreading the Slug Club Christmas party, but one look at lovely Luna changes everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightofdaye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightofdaye/gifts).



> Written for the 2016 Interhouse Fest on LiveJournal.

There were a number of thoughts swirling in Harry Potter's head as he approached the entrance hall. For starters, he wished Ron and Hermione would stop biting each others' heads off. That his two best friends were bickering was nothing new. Fighting had always been one of the defining characteristics of their friendship, but it had gotten much worse this year. The constant sniping made him feel like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the last thing he needed was more frustration on top of everything else he was dealing with this year.

Like whatever was going on with Malfoy. The blond ponce was up to something, he just knew it, and he couldn't understand why Ron and Hermione were so dismissive about it. Hadn't his hunches usually been correct? And was it really so hard to believe that Malfoy was up to no good? Hell, he might as well have 'up to no good' tattooed across his forehead. Harry was going to figure out what the ferret was plotting, and if Ron was too busy sticking his tongue down Lavender Brown's throat to help him that was just fine. At least it would shut Lavender up for a few seconds. As for Hermione, apparently this year she was too busy sulking over the Prince's textbook to bother helping him.

She could've at least done him a favor and gone to Slughorn's party with him as a friend, but no, she had to go and bring that moron McLaggen instead in some crazy ploy to try and make Ron jealous. Harry was going with Luna instead, which wasn't bad all things considered. Most people tried to avoid the eccentric Ravenclaw, at least the ones who didn't stoop to bullying her, but he could honestly say he enjoyed her company. Hopefully she'd be her usual unpredictable self and distract him from the thing wearing on his mind above all else: Ginny and Dean. If not, well, maybe punching Dean in the face would make Slughorn throw him out of the party early. If he was really lucky he might even get himself banned from attending any future Slug Club get-togethers!

With all of the teenage drama rattling around in his brain Harry could be forgiven for only giving Luna a cursory 'hello' upon meeting up with her in the hall. It took a moment for his thoughts to catch up with his eyes, but he did a double take once they did.

Luna Lovegood was bloody _gorgeous_.

While he counted Luna as a true friend (something he would only say about a handful of people in the world), he'd never given her much thought as a girl. He knew she _was_ a girl, of course; he wasn't stupid. But he hadn't taken notice of her the way he had Cho, Ginny, Fleur, the Patils, Lavender, hell, even Hermione a few times. Right now though? Right now he couldn't take his eyes off of her.

She was wearing a silver dress that complemented her slim body and dirty blonde hair wonderfully. It wasn't particularly revealing, but thanks to the unflattering Hogwarts robes she normally wore this was still far more of her pale skin than he'd ever seen on display. And what lovely skin! It looked so soft and smooth, and he had to resist the urge to reach out and touch her bare arms or shoulders.

"Harry? You seem distracted. I do hope you aren't dealing with an infestation of dayezopian sandworms." Harry's first thought, once her words brought him back from his adolescent admiring, was 'what the hell is a dayezopian sandworm?'

"Wha? Oh, no. I'm sandworm-free, thank Merlin." Yeah, best just to play along.

"That's a relief," she said, certainly sounding like she was genuinely relieved. "In that case, shall we go?"

"Absolutely." He held his arm out to her, and she hooked her own arm through his.

Yep, definitely soft.

\--

Harry rather enjoyed the walk to the party. That of course was all about the girl he was arm-in-arm with. Not only was her skin soft, but she smelled really good too. Like peaches, maybe? Or was it oranges? Whatever it was, he liked it. He also liked the sound of her voice as they talked. He wasn't entirely sure what, specifically, they talked about. Was it an article about unicorns in the Quibbler? Wait, an essay on unicorns for Transfiguration, maybe? Whatever. Point was, he could listen to her gentle voice for hours.

What was happening to him? Thoughts like these belonged to people who frequented Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop. This wasn't anything like the ferocious chest monster that howled in dismay whenever it sensed Ginny cuddling up to Dean.

The walk to the party might have been pleasant, but the arrival was anything but. Slughorn had clearly been waiting for him because he hurried over the moment he and Luna entered. The potioneer shook Harry's hand vigorously and wasted no time in trying to pull him away from Luna so he could introduce him to some "very honored guests." Harry tightened his grip on her arm in protest but she gently disentangled their arms and assured Slughorn that yes, it was perfectly fine if he borrowed her date for a bit. He wanted to protest that it very much _was not_ fine, but she looked directly into his eyes and promised that she would be waiting for him over by the drinks when he was done. Then she smiled at him, and he could only stare at her dumbly as she turned and walked away.

Slughorn paraded him around the room like a prized trophy. Harry was vaguely aware of being introduced to an author, a runecrafter and a non-human, perhaps a vampire or werewolf or something. He went through the motions of politeness, making sure to say hello and whatnot, but he wouldn't have been able to recite any of their names thirty seconds after being introduced to them. His mind was once again wholly distracted but this time Malfoy had nothing to do with it. He didn't even react much when he saw Ginny and Dean talking and laughing with a student he didn't recognize. The chest monster stirred but only gave off a confused whimper, as if it didn't know how it was supposed to feel right now. Then he met Luna's eyes from across the room as she looked up from what appeared to be a fascinating conversation with a woman wearing a hideous powder blue tuxedo and top hat, and she smiled at him again. The chest monster purred in contentment. Or at least it would have if it were an actual monster and not a literary expression.

"So how long have you fancied Luna?" Harry's head jerked around to see Hermione smirking at him. 

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," he muttered, making space for her beside him in the little corner of the room he'd claimed for himself as he waited for Luna to finish her chat. He didn't sound very convincing even to his own ears, so he could hardly blame Hermione for rolling her eyes at him.

"Harry, I love you dearly, but you may be the least subtle person on the planet. Well, second only to _Ronald_ I suppose," she finished with a scowl. Great; now she was going to start ranting about Ron again.

"Am I really that obvious?" There wasn't much point in continuing to deny it after his total failure the first time. Besides, at least this conversation would keep her focused on something other than how much she currently hated Ronald Bilius Weasley.

"Painfully. You wear your heart on your sleeve." He stared at her skeptically, and she rolled her eyes at him again. "While you've found quite a few witches physically attractive over the last few years, you've developed feelings for exactly three of them. First there was Cho, even if you knew essentially nothing about her other than that she was a pretty girl who likes quidditch."

"I knew more than that," he grumbled, frowning at her upraised index finger.

"After that ended in disaster, you started falling for Ginny over the summer," she said, ignoring his protest and raising a second finger. "Which is of course what she's always wanted, and it would probably even be a good match too now that she's gotten over that hero worship phase. She's had to have noticed the way you look at her now, and I'm honestly shocked she hasn't dumped Dean like a bad habit and made a move on you."

"Wait, are you saying Ginny still likes me?" Even the chest monster noticed that this concept didn't excite him nearly as much as it would have an hour earlier.

"Would it matter if she does?" Hermione countered. "You barely spared her a second glance just now, but you can't seem to take your eyes off of Luna. Which brings me to my original question: how long have you fancied her? I never noticed anything before this party."

"You've been too busy yelling at Ron for snogging Lavender, and me for using the Prince's textbook, to notice much else." Her eyes narrowed to slits, and suddenly he had a horrible vision of her unleashing her bird army on him like she did to Ron that one time. "I'm not really sure where this came from," he said hastily, hoping to avoid an avian onslaught. "I already liked Luna as a friend of course, but when I saw her in that dress it was just, like, what's that word? An epilepsy? God, I sound so shallow."

"Epiphany," she corrected. "And I don't think you sound very shallow at all. As you said, you already know Luna fairly well. Not nearly as well as you know me or Ron of course, but still far better than you knew Cho. You already liked her as a person, you just never really looked at her in _that_ way until now."

"You don't think I'm being fickle or anything do you? I mean an hour ago I was driving myself crazy over Ginny, and now I move on just like that?"

"The heart wants what it wants, m'boy!" a third voice interjected. Oh god. 

"Professor...how long have you been standing there?" Harry asked apprehensively.

"More importantly, how did you hear us? I used the muffliato charm!" Hermione demanded of Slughorn.

"Ah, so I'm a cheat for using the Prince's textbook, but you can just use his creations whenever it suits you?" said Harry, raising his eyebrows at his best female friend. "Hypocrite."

"Yes, yes, I know. Save the lecture for later. Professor, I know I cast the charm correctly. How'd you hear us?" The nerve of this girl, brushing off her hypocrisy like it was nothing! He had half a mind to rip into her (verbally of course), were it not for the pesky fact that she could always be relied on to stand unwaveringly at his side when it mattered most. Perhaps he'd give her a pass just this once. Still didn't mean he wasn't going to rub her face in it when Draco showed everyone his true colors.

"Oh, your wandwork was impeccable as always, my dear," Slughorn assured her with a genial smile. "That spell just so happens to be a personal favorite of mine, and as such I happen to know how to work around it. Never fear though, the charm is still active. No one else overheard you aside from me."

Was Harry relieved that no one else overheard, or was he reeling from the knowledge that Slughorn had intimate knowledge of a spell purportedly invented by the Prince? Before he could make up his mind, Cormac McLaggen sauntered over to their corner in what Harry guessed was supposed to be a charming, confident strut but made it look more like his underwear had gotten bunched up. Hermione's thirst for academic knowledge dried up at the sight of the arrogant Gryffindor. She made a noise of disgust Harry had heretofore only heard when Ron started talking with a mouthful of meat, then ran away. Cormac followed her in his awkward waddle-strut, so Harry was now alone with the organizer of this shindig.

"May I give you a piece of advice, Harry?"

"I think you're going to give it to me no matter what my answer is, so just go ahead."

"Excellent!" Slughorn said, laughing and clapping him on the back. "You find yourself entranced by Miss Lovegood, yes?"

"Well...yeah, I suppose." 'Entranced' wasn't a word he would've chosen, but whatever.

"And neither of you are currently attached to anyone else, correct?"

"No," Harry answered. "Well I'm not anyway. I'm pretty sure Luna isn't either, though she does seem awfully interested in whatever that woman in the blue tuxedo is saying."

"Olga? Never mind her, m'boy; she's harmless," said Slughorn. "A bit of an eccentric, but an absolute genius artihmancer. Far too focused on her work to give any thought to romance. But enough about that! If you're interested in Miss Lovegood, don't waste another minute! Go over there and tell her!"

"Just like that? What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if it ruins our friendship?"

"It won't. Not if your friendship is genuine," Slughorn said confidently. "At worst she'll let you down gently and the two of you should be able to remain good friends once you get past the initial awkwardness. But the potential for great happiness is well worth any risk."

"That is actually really good advice," Harry was forced to admit. "Or at least I think it is." The one and only date he'd ever been on was a complete disaster, so he probably wasn't the best judge of what was and was not a good idea with regards to girls. It sounded good in any event.

"Why so surprised, Harry?" There were about a half dozen potential answers to that question that immediately popped into his head, but he didn't think a single one of them would be appreciated and thus kept silent. "I advised your mother on this very subject, I'll have you know!" he finished, thumping his chest importantly.

"Wait, what? Really?" Yeah, Slughorn had his undivided attention now.

"Yes, really, m'boy! It was not love at first sight, not for Lily at least."

"Yeah, I've heard that much." Remus and Sirius had assured him that his dad did a lot of maturing towards the end of his school days, but it was still hard to imagine his mum falling for him based on that memory he'd seen. His dad had been a bit of a bully, honestly. 

"Well what you _haven't_ heard is that she came to me for advice when her feelings began to change, and I urged her to give young James a chance! So now I give you the same advice, Harry. Follow your heart and let your feelings lead you where they may!"

Harry was still mystified by the notion that Slughorn may have played matchmaker with his parents. Was it true? Was he embellishing the role he did or did not play?

Then he realized that he was focusing on the wrong thing. While he of course welcomed any memories or stories anyone could share about his beloved parents, the present was more important than the past. And his present was standing right over there, drinking some sort of fruit concoction and waiting for him to return to her.

"Thank you, Professor," he said. Slughorn said something in reply but it did not register in his mind as he walked away. He had a witch to woo. He also had no real clue how one goes about wooing a witch, but it's not like being woefully unprepared for something had ever stopped him in the past.

\--

"Ah, welcome back, Harry. Are you enjoying the party?"

"You know what? I kind of am." Luna held out a drink and he accepted it with a smile. "Thanks."

"Oh, you're very welcome. So why did Hermione run away earlier? Did Professor Slughorn say something to upset her?"

"No, you can thank Cormac for that." He chuckled at the memory of his best friend fleeing in a panic. Served her right, the hypocrite. "Slughorn wasn't bad at all."

"Really?" Luna said, cocking her head at him. "Knowing how much you were dreading coming here, I'm surprised to hear you say that."

"Honestly, so am I," he admitted. "But Slughorn gave me some advice that helped me make a decision about something."

"Ooh, how nice!" Luna gushed. "Did it have anything to do with your crush on Ginny? Or did he help you figure out why you're suddenly attracted to me?"

Luna hadn't bothered to lower her voice despite discussing something very personal, and several of the party guests standing near them turned their heads to watch with interest. Harry's head swiveled around the room in mortification, and he saw that they now had an audience of sorts. Slughorn may have given him courage, but not _that_ much courage. 

"Let's talk about this somewhere else," he said lowly. He took Luna's hand in his, and even in his panic he again took note of how soft her skin was and how much he enjoyed touching it.

Luna offered no complaint as he led her away from the party. Harry noticed Slughorn watching them leave, and the professor nodded at him and smiled knowingly. He led Luna into an empty classroom a few doors down from Slughorn's and made sure it was locked before he finally resumed their conversation.

"How did you figure out I'm attracted to you?" he asked. "I never even noticed it myself until tonight!"

"Yes, neither did I," she agreed. "I don't think you were attracted to me before tonight. But then tonight, when you saw me waiting for you, you looked at me the same way you look at Ginny. It's quite flattering, you know, because she's very beautiful."

"So are you," Harry said softly. 

"Thank you, Harry." She smiled slightly while looking at the ground, and holy hell, was Luna Lovegood blushing? Harry didn't think he'd ever seen her embarrassed about anything before.

"Has no one ever told you that before?" he asked. To his shock, she shook her head.

"You're the first," she admitted quietly. "But that's okay. I'm glad it was you."

"Really?" He knew he sounded desperately hopeful, but he didn't give a damn.

"Yes. Your attraction might be new, but I've fancied you for several months. I didn't say anything because I could tell that you were attracted to Ginny."

"Oh. Well, that's...nice." The mention of Ginny made him feel awkward. Had he really been so fixated on her just a few short hours ago?

"She would date you if you asked, you know," Luna said matter-of-factly. "She'd even dump Dean for you." Hearing that earlier in the day would have been a dream come true, but not anymore.

"That's not what I want," he said decisively. "I don't want Ginny anymore. I want you, Luna. I want to be with you."

Luna's wide, expressive eyes stared unblinkingly into his. He met her searching gaze, allowing her to see that he was serious about this. 

"It's not just because I fancy you," he continued. "That part might be new, but everything else was already there. I don't make friends easily, not true friends. But you became my friend faster than anyone except for Ron and Hermione. I already like spending time with you, so I'm sure going on dates would be loads better with you than it was with Cho." Bugger. He should not have mentioned that pathetic attempt at romance. 

"Are you asking me out on a date? As more than just friends?"

"Yes," he said, relieved she ignored the mention of his failed relationship with her fellow Ravenclaw. "I'm happy to be your friend, but I want to try being more than that. You know, if you want."

Luna responded by leaning in on her tiptoes and bringing her lips to his. He assumed this was her first kiss after what she said earlier, but she wasn't the least bit tentative. She backed him up against the wall of the classroom and twined her hands around his neck. By the time she slipped her tongue into his mouth he decided it was okay if he stopped being so passive. His hands, which had been resting against her back, skimmed down the smooth material of her dress until they reached her bum. He hesitated for just a second before going for broke and giving her arse a gentle squeeze through the material. He needn't have worried about pushing her too far, because she responded by moaning in his mouth and pressing herself more firmly against him.

Maybe being in the Slug Club wasn't so bad after all. The man sure threw one hell of a party.

\--

Severus Snape grumbled to himself as he walked down the corridor, his robes swishing behind him in that cool billowy fashion he'd worked hard to master over the years. Slughorn was just as much a blithering dolt as he'd been when Snape was a student. The Malfoy boy was too stubborn to admit that he was in over his head and accept his help. Dumbledore was the worst of the lot though. While Snape agreed that saving Draco from walking the same path of darkness that his father had was a worthy cause, the headmaster was willingly and knowingly risking the lives of every student in his care in the process. Snape might loathe most of the dunderheads, but that didn't mean he wished to see them dead. It was all enough to give him a headache. Even now he could practically hear the pounding inside of his brain.

Wait, maybe that wasn't just his imagination. That abandoned classroom didn't sound nearly as abandoned as it should have been. Probably that irritant Peeves making mischief again. He stalked towards the door and tried to pull it open, only to find it locked. 

"Alohomora!" he muttered. He flung the door open and prepared to take out the night's frustrations on whoever was using this empty room for nefarious purposes. Nothing could prepare him for what he saw inside.

The Lovegood girl was straddling Potter-- _Potter!_ on top of what appeared to be a conjured chair. They were still clothed, thank all the gods in the universe, but they looked rather disheveled. Clearly they'd been locked in a rather intense snog for quite some time now. It had evidently been heated enough to somehow knock a dust-covered desk against the wall, which would explain the noise that drew his attention. They were so focused on their tryst that they hadn't even heard him enter and were continuing to kiss and paw at each other wildly. 

This would've been a golden opportunity for Snape to throw his least favorite student in detention from now until the end of infinity, but the shock was just too much to take. He fainted on the spot, and only then did Harry and Luna break apart. They left in a panic and ran into Dumbledore, who found the whole thing amusing. When awoken, Snape chose to accept Dumbledore's offer of obliviation. It meant that Potter got away unpunished (just like always!), but it also meant that the image would not haunt his every waking moment. For Severus Snape, it was a tradeoff he would gladly accept all over again. Though he thankfully wouldn't have to since, you know, he'd forgotten the whole thing ever happened.


End file.
